December 28, 2009
December 27, 2009
Page 215, 216 & 217
I listened as we all spoke about life, culture & nationality. Each has there own opinions and perspectives- The Italians are proud, the French are assholes, Americans are stupid... all of the negative thoughts one has about another. But in the end, I really love everyone. Italy's vibrance and gusto, France's romance and calm beauty, America's diversity.
December 21, 2009
December 20, 2009
Page 210, 211 & 212
In life nothing lasts, things are ever changing, and even if you don't like to change, your resistance creates a change in itself, how the world reacts to you and the energy you start to create around you. What if I didn't begin or end, I just continued - how would that work out? ...
December 18, 2009
Page 208 & 209
Art is all so simple, you become inspired by an idea, then execute it... then it becomes popular and trendy... then it fades. No, no no no no. Something timeless, something that makes people pause and think and hopefully feel something that will remain with them.
December 14, 2009
Page 205, 206 & 207
Sometimes I get so scared of life with someone else. I feel safe being alone after some time familiarizing myself with it. I guess we're creatures of habit, that scares me. I don't want someone to get used to me being a certain way, I need the space to change. I think people like to pigeon hole you because it gives them comfort. I crave change. I don't care who you're becoming, just as long as you don't judge me in my ways of being. The world can turn on you so quickly.
December 12, 2009
Page 203 & 204
It's funny how people have warned me about other people and usually those who have warned, have turned out to be the dangerous ones.
December 10, 2009
Page 201 & 202
SOME IDEAS:
MAKE A BOOK OF ART
VISIT GALLERIES
PUT EDITION INTO BOOK
CALL MAGS IN MILAN, EDITORIAL SHIT
CALL ENGLISH STUDENTS
CALL PORTRAIT LADY
NO ASSISTANT WORK
2 DAYS A WEEK IN BAR
PRINT FOR MOM
PRINT FOR ME, NEW & OLD
CREATIVE IDEAS:
WOMEN NUDES- FROM BABY TO 90 YEARS OLD
USING X-RAY PHOTOS
MAKE A BOOK OF ART
VISIT GALLERIES
PUT EDITION INTO BOOK
CALL MAGS IN MILAN, EDITORIAL SHIT
CALL ENGLISH STUDENTS
CALL PORTRAIT LADY
NO ASSISTANT WORK
2 DAYS A WEEK IN BAR
PRINT FOR MOM
PRINT FOR ME, NEW & OLD
CREATIVE IDEAS:
WOMEN NUDES- FROM BABY TO 90 YEARS OLD
USING X-RAY PHOTOS
December 9, 2009
Page 198, 199 & 200
Those feelings that I stuff underneath it all, the reality of what's really going on. Love, what a powerful drug when used improperly. I can't kick this habit.
December 7, 2009
Page 196 & 197
Sometimes I sit and start to cry thinking about another person's level of empathy and compassion, it seems so rare to find that kind of person. I'd like to see people showing care even when there hasn't been some kind of catastrophe. I think people show up when you really need it, but what about showing up so you don't get to that point of really needing it so bad.
December 6, 2009
Page 194 & 195
Sometimes making art becomes too much and I need to lose myself in living. Time is passing and with time, memories are fading...
December 5, 2009
December 3, 2009
Page 189, 190 & 191
It's snowing outside and daydreams slip into my mind as his hand slips into mine and now we're walking together through white fields and it feels like heaven.
December 2, 2009
Page 187 & 188
It's strange how little things are so easy to overlook in the beginning and then one day they become the things that tear you apart. The more comfortable we get, the more we act like assholes.
November 30, 2009
Page 184 & 185
It's that sting of love that's so far away. Creativity flowing while everyone around me is causing havoc. I try and find some serenity, but I'm taking the wrong path to get there. I have no direction, I feel lost, going in circles, waiting for some calling, for love, for change.
November 28, 2009
November 27, 2009
Page 178 & 179
I can't believe I'm going back to America for a month. It's going to be hard not having my own space. I'm getting to the point with these journals, where I'm asking myself, "what's the point?", everything I say seems so repetitive.
November 26, 2009
Page 176 & 177
I'm sitting in the hills, overlooking the Alps backing up the city. It's a gorgeous day and I feel fresh. Woke up at 8am, doing pretty good, I'm getting used to not having a boyfriend. Alone doesn't feel so lonely.
November 24, 2009
Page 174 & 175
Cafe des Artes is so funny right now, everyone is in a strange, silly mood, even the dogs. Something is in the air besides the freezing cold.
November 23, 2009
Page 171, 172 & 173
Waking up and falling back to sleep, thinking too much. Feeling every unfulfilled desire eating away. I feel sad. I loved having Kate here with me, I just needed someone loving to be around.
November 21, 2009
Page 167, 168, 169 & 170
I'm starting to disappear. It's as if I need the world to bounce off of in order to really feel like I exist. I begin to feel like a ghost in my own little world. This time alone could be so effective if only I could be quiet. I'm annoying myself. 3:48am I can't sleep.
November 20, 2009
Page 164, 165 & 166
I'm on my way to Milan right now via train. I love to get away, I need to get away. It's not as if I want to escape all the time from something, but rather towards something.
November 19, 2009
Page 162 & 163
It's amazing how fast photos become distant memories. What am I thinking about? I'm starved for interaction, I feel so outgoing, as if I'm inviting the world in, but sometimes the world seems to disappear. The sun has set, the days go by faster. The colors are entering a state of rage with reds bursting out.
November 18, 2009
November 17, 2009
November 16, 2009
November 15, 2009
November 14, 2009
November 13, 2009
November 12, 2009
November 11, 2009
November 10, 2009
November 9, 2009
November 8, 2009
November 6, 2009
November 5, 2009
November 3, 2009
November 2, 2009
November 1, 2009
October 31, 2009
October 30, 2009
October 29, 2009
October 28, 2009
October 27, 2009
October 26, 2009
October 25, 2009
October 23, 2009
October 22, 2009
October 21, 2009
October 20, 2009
October 19, 2009
October 18, 2009
October 17, 2009
October 16, 2009
October 15, 2009
October 14, 2009
October 13, 2009
October 12, 2009
October 11, 2009
October 10, 2009
October 9, 2009
October 8, 2009
October 7, 2009
October 6, 2009
October 5, 2009
October 4, 2009
October 3, 2009
October 2, 2009
October 1, 2009
September 30, 2009
September 29, 2009
September 28, 2009
September 27, 2009
September 26, 2009
September 25, 2009
September 24, 2009
September 23, 2009
September 22, 2009
September 21, 2009
September 20, 2009
September 19, 2009
September 18, 2009
CIAO LA by Brandy Eve Allen
At 21 years old, living in Los Angeles, I found myself sick of the city, the people, my life and needed to get out.
I got on a plane bound for Italy in a town I'd never heard of called Torino, where I planned to spend the summer teaching English. Three years later I had built an incredible life for myself, making art, living, learning, loving and writing about it. When I came back to LA at 24 years old, I had the hopes of winning back my first true love and bringing some of the success that I had begun to accumulate back to the U.S. Instead all that came to pass was more time and it was back to life in L.A. A year and a half ago I pulled out a box with my journals I had kept from this time in Italy, and began editing and piecing together all of the text and images until 580 pages later, CIAO L.A. came to be... A memoir of a young girl on a journey through language, love, culture, art and the ways it fucks with the heart.
Everyday a couple pages from the book with be posted from cover to THE END.
Click on the images to Enlarge.
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